2017 Vakxikon Publications & Helen Kostopoulou For the translation in English: Emmanuela Lia & Duncan Wilkins Cover Painting: Helen Kostopoulou

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2 VAKXIKON.gr MEDIA GROUP Vakxikon Publications 17 Asklipiou str., Athens, Greece tel web site: ekdoseis.vakxikon.gr Book Title: As if nothing happened Author: Helen Kostopoulou Translators: Emmanuela Lia & Duncan Wilkins Edition & Cover Design: Vakxikon Publications 2017 Vakxikon Publications & Helen Kostopoulou For the translation in English: Emmanuela Lia & Duncan Wilkins Cover Painting: Helen Kostopoulou ISBN: Edition Series: Vakxikon Literature/Greek Theater Number of Series: 62 First Edition: April 2017 Το παρόν έργο πνευματικής ιδιοκτησίας προστατεύεται κατά τις διατάξεις του Eλληνικού Nόμου (Ν. 2121/1993 όπως έχει τροποποιηθεί και ισχύει σήμερα) και τις διεθνείς συμβάσεις περί πνευματικής ιδιοκτησίας. Απαγορεύεται απολύτως η άνευ γραπτής άδειας του εκδότη κατά οποιοδήποτε τρόπο ή μέσο αντιγραφή, φωτοανατύπωση και εν γένει αναπαραγωγή, εκμίσθωση ή δανεισμός, μετάφραση, διασκευή, αναμετάδοση στο κοινό σε οποιαδήποτε μορφή (ηλεκτρονική, μηχανική ή άλλη) και η εν γένει εκμετάλλευση του συνόλου ή μέρους του έργου. MAIN DISTRIBUTION Bookstore of Vakxikon 17 Asklipiou str., Athens, Greece tel

3 CHARACTERS OF THE PLAY 22 years old 18 years old, always always wearing a hoodie BRAD 18 years old Scenes take place in a miserable living room.

4 SCENE 1 Present (Johnny enters from the door inside the room, slamming it behind him. He looks upset and kicks whatever is in his way. Approaches the table, reaches out and grabs an invisible glass) Joe and Brad. And this cunt, me. (Johnny goes back to the door holding the invisible glass. Stands in front of the door) (imitating Joe s and Brad s voices) -Your milk Joe. -I don t want it. -Your milk Joe. -I don t want it. -Your milk Brad. -Thank you. I ll have the glass. -And what about the milk? -Let the cat have it. -We don t have a cat Brad. -Why don t we get one? (addressing an invisible cat somewhere in the room) Come on kitty, it s your lucky day again. Take your milk. (Johnny goes forward, crouches down and pretends to empty the contents of the invisible glass to an invisible cat bowl. He strokes the invisible cat)

5 AS IF NOTHING HAPPENED 5 At least you listen to me kitty. I like that, you never argue. (he shouts) Brad! Brad! Come get your glass. The cat had the milk. As you requested. (Silence) (Johnny walks to the door, opens it and hands the glass inside. We hear the glass smash) Same thing every day. All day. Who has to clean this up? This cunt. One glass per day, at the least. Sometimes two three a hundred glass shards and I have to clean them all. If I don t someone might step on it. Not me. I never take my shoes off, but them, Joe and Brad. And if they do, it ll be me again coming to the rescue. Joe! Brad! Careful not to step on the glass. Put your shoes on! They re going to ask for milk again in a minute. I m not giving them a drop today. The last glass has broken. I have to go out and buy some. (He goes to the cupboard. Opens it and takes out a glass -a real one-. Goes to the fridge, takes out an empty milk carton and pretends to pour some in the glass. He throws the glass against the wall. He approaches the door, half opens it and pops his head in) Joe! Brad! I m going out for a bit, to buy glasses. Kitty will stay with you, I won t be long. (Johnny heads to the front door, opens it and stands still)

6 S VOICE It s being twenty days and you still haven t showed. I was right all along. Whoever leaves, never comes back

7 SCENE 2 Twenty days ago (Johnny is sitting and writing something) S VOICE We ran out for the first time today. I hope you have a good excuse. (Joe and Brad pop their heads out from the half open door of the other room. They look at Johnny. Joe suggest to Brad to keep quiet. They tip toe into the room. Approach the fridge. They open it) (without looking at them) Run out. (Joe opens the fridge door wide open. It s full of milk cartons) You can look all you want. You won t find anything. (Joe and Brad get the cartons out) I said, we run out. Don t touch those, it took me days to sort them out. Whatever you ate and drank in the last year. In chronological order, yes?

8 8 HELEN KOSTOPOULOU BRAD Where s the harm? Don t listen to him, no harm done. I m doing that so we can remember how long we ve being here so we know our limits, for how many more days. How many days? If you add up the dates on those the sum makes it a year. A year and two days to be precise. The last carton expired two days ago, so we ve being here a year and three days. Four. Yes, four. I m going out in a minute to bring a new carton. It will mess up your order. Why? Next to one expiry date you place a production date, correct?