Ο ΕΙΤΤΩΝ ΛΟΓΟΣ χώρει δευρί δεῖξον σαυτὸν 889 τοίσι θεαταῖς καίπερ θρασὺς ὤν. Come here; show yourself to the spectators, though you are rash (and don t need me to tell you to do so). Ο ΤΩΝ ΛΟΓΟΣ ἴθ ὅποι χρῄζεις πολὺ γάρ μᾶλλον σ ἐν τοῖς πολλοῖσι λέγων ἀπολῶ. Go wherever you want. For I shall destroy you worse if I speak before a crowd. ἀπολεῖς σύ; τίς ὤν; You ll destroy me? Being who? λόγος. An argument. ἥττων γ ὤν. But a weaker one. ἀλλά σε νικῶ τὸν ἐμοῦ κρείττω φάσκοντ εἶναι.
But I shall conquer you even though you say you are stronger. τί σοφὸν ποῖων; Doing what clever thing? γνώμας καινὰς ἐξευρίσκων. Inventing new thoughts. ταῦτα γὰρ ἀνθεῖ διὰ τουτουσὶ τοὺς ἀνοήτους. For these things \ourish with the aid of these fools. οὔκ, άλλὰ σοφοὺς. No, these clever ones. ἀπολῶ σε κακῶς. I m going to destroy you badly. εἰπέ, τί ποιῶν;
Tell me, how? τὰ δίκαια λέγων. 900 Saying what s right. ἀλλ ἀνατρέψω ταῦτ ἀντιλέγων οὐδὲ γὰρ εἶναι πάνυ φημὶ Δίκην. But I will overturn this by speaking the opposite. For I say there is no Right at all. οὐκ εἶναι φῄς; You say there isn t (any Right)? φέρε γάρ, ποῦ στίν; Well then, where is it? παρὰ τοῖσι θεοῖς. Among the gods.
πῶς δῆτα Δίκης οὔσης ὁ Ζεὺς οὐκ ἀπόλωλεν τὸν πατέρ αὑτοῦ δήσας; How then, if Right exists, was Zeus not destroyed when he bound his father (Kronos)? αἰβοῖ, τουτὶ καὶ δὴ χωρεῖ τὸ κακόν. δότε μοι λεκάνην. Ugh! (barfy sound), indeed this is turning out foul. Hand me a bowl (for vomiting into). τυφογέρων εἶ κἀνάρμοστος. You are a dim old man and out of touch. καταπύγων εἶ κἀναίσχυντος. You are a bugger and a shameless one. ῥόδα μ εἴρηκας. You ve spoken me a rose. καὶ βωμολόχος.
And a bukoon. κρίνεσι στεφανοῖς. You garland me with lilies. καὶ πατραλοίας. and a parricide. χρυσῷ πάττων μ οὐ γιγνώσκεις. Unknowing, you sprinkle me with gold. οὐ δῆτα πρὸ τοῦ γ, ἀλλὰ μολύβδῳ. Not, to be sure, in the time before this...i d be sprinkling you with lead. νῦν δέ γε κόσμος τοῦτ ἐστὶν ἐμοι. But now it s an embellishment for me. θρασὺς εἶ πολλοῦ.
You are really rash. σὺ δέ γ ἀρχαῖος. 915 And you are ancient. ΧΧΧ ΧΟΡΟΣ παύσασθε μάχης καὶ λοιδορίας. 934 ἀλλ ἐπίδειξαι σύ τε τοὺς προτέρους ἅττ ἐδίδασκες, σύ τε τὴν καινὴν παίδευσιν, ὅπως ἂν ἀκούσας σφῷν ἀντιλεγόντοιν κρίνας φοιτᾷ. ΧΧΧ νῦν δείξετον τὼ πισύνω 949 τοῖς περιδεξίοισιν λόγοισι καὶ φροντίσι καὶ γνωμοτύποις μερίμναις ὁπότερος αὐτοῖν ἀμεί- νων λέγων φανήσεται. νῦν γὰρ ἅπας ἐνθάδε κίν- δυνος ἀνεῖται σοφίας, ἧς πέρι τοῖς ἐμοῖς φίλοις ἐστὶν ἀγὼν μέγιστος. ἀλλ ὦ πολλοῖς τοὺς πρεσβυτέρους ἤθεσι χρηστοῖς στεφανώσας, ῥῆξον φωνὴν ᾗτινι χαίρεις καὶ τὴν σαυτοῦ φύσιν εἰπέ. CHORUS (To both Arguments) Leave ok your wghting and abuse. But you (looking at the Stronger Argument), show what things you used to teach our forebears, and you (to the Weaker Argument) the new education. so that having heard you both
debating, he may go having made his decision. XXX Now let the two show, trusting in ambidextrous words and considerations and maxim-coining thoughts, which of them will appear better at speaking. For now at this point, all risk of cleverness is up in the air, concerning which our friends competition is greatest. But you who crowned our elders with many customs, speak in whatever tone you like, and tell me your nature. λέξω τοίνυν τὴν ἀρχαίαν παιδείαν ὡς διέκειτο, 961 ὅτ ἐγὼ τὰ δίκαια λέγων ἤνθουν καὶ σωφροσύνη νενόμιστο. πρῶτον μὲν ἔδει παιδὸς φωνὴν γρύξαντος μηδεν ἀκοῦσαι εἶτα βαδίζειν ἐν ταῖσιν ὁδοῖς εὐτάκτως εἰς κιθαριστοῦ τοὺς κωμήτας γυμνοὺς ἁθρόους, κεἰ κριμνώδη κατανείφοι. ΧΧΧ ἐν παιδοτρίβου δὲ καθίζοντας τὸν μηρὸν ἔδει προβαλέσθαι 973 τοὺς παῖδας, ὅπως τοῖς ἔξωθεν μηδὲν δείξειαν ἀπηνές εἶτ αὖ πάλιν αὖθις ἀνιστάμενον συμψῆσαι καὶ προνοεῖσθαι εἴδωλον τοῖσιν ἐρασταῖσιν τῆς ἥβης μὴ καταλείπειν. ἠλείψατο δ ἂν τοὐμφαλοῦ οῦδεὶς παῖς ὑπένερθεν τότ ἄν, ὥστε τοῖς αἰδοίοισι δρόσος καὶ χνοῦς ὥσπερ μήλοισιν ἐπήνθει. οὐδ ἂν μαλακὴν φυρασάμενος τὴν φωνὴν πρὸς τὸν ἐραστὴν αὐτὸς ἑαυτὸν προαγωγεύων τοῖν ὀφθαλμοῖν ἐβάδιζεν. ΧΧΧ πρὸς ταῦτ, ὦ μειράκιον, θαρρῶν ἐμὲ τὸν κρείττω λόγον αἱροῦ. 990 κἀπιστήσει μισεῖν ἀγορὰν καὶ βαλανεῖων ἀπέχεσθαι, καὶ τοῖς αἰσχροῖς αἰσχύνεσθαι κἂν σκώπτῃ τίς σε φλέγεσθαι. καὶ τῶν θάκων τοῖς πρεσβυτέροις ὑπανίστασαι προσιοῦσιν, καὶ μὴ περὶ τοὺς σαυτοῦ γονέας σκαιουργεῖν, ἄλλο τε μηδὲν αἰσχρὸν ποιεῖν...
ΧΧΧ ἦν ταῦτα ποῇς ἁγὼ φράζω 1009 καὶ πρὸς τούτοις προσέχῃς τὸν νοῦν ἕξεις αἰεὶ στῆθος λιπαρόν, χροιὰν λαμπράν, ὤμους μεγάλους, γλῶτταν βαιάν, πυγὴν μεγάλην, πόσθην μικράν ἢν δ ἅπερ οἱ νῦν ἐπιτηδεύῃς, πρῶτα μὲν ἕξεις χροιὰν ὠχράν, ὤμους μικρούς, στῆθος λεπτόν, γλῶτταν μεγάλην, κωλῆν μικράν, ψήφισμα μακρόν, καί σ ἀναπείσει τὸ μὲν αἰσχρὸν ἅπαν καλὸν ἡγεῖσθαι, τὸ καλὸν δ αἰσχρόν, καὶ πρὸς τούτοις τῆς Ἀντιμάχου καταπυγοσύνης ἀναπλήσει. I now shall say how the ancient education was ordered, when I, saying what was right, was in full bloom, and self-control was practiced. First, on the one hand, it was necessary that no one hear the voice of a grumbling child; then, it was necessary that those in the same quarter walk in the streets in an orderly fashion to the house of the cithara-player, naked and in a group, even if it were snowing like meal. XXX And it was necessary for boys sitting at the gymnastics teacher s not to put forward their thigh, so as not to show anything cruel to those outside; and further, in turn, again, having stood up to sweep up and take care not to leave an impression of their youth for their lovers when standing up. No boy would anoint himself below the navel then, with the result that a drop and \uk bloomed on their privates as on a peach. Nor would anyone, having made his voice soft for his lover, walk about prostituting himself before his eyes. XXX In consequence of these things, young man, conwdently choose me, the stronger argument. And you will know how to hate the agora and to keep away from the baths, and to feel shame before shameful things and to blush if someone mocks you. and to get up from chairs for your elders when they approach, and not to make fun of your parents, and to do
nothing else that is shameful. XXX If you do the things I say and turn your attention to these things, you shall always have a shining breast, a bright complexion, large shoulders, a small tongue, well-rounded buttocks and a small cock. But if you do practice what the men of today do, wrst, you shall have a pale complexion, small shoulders, a narrow breast, a large tongue, a small haunch, a big vote, and he will persuade you to consider every shameful thing beautiful, and the beautiful shameful, and in addition to these things he will infect you with Antimachus buggery. ΧΟ ὦ καλλίπυργον σοφίαν 1024 κλεινοτάτην ἐπασκῶν, ὡς ἡδύ σου τοῖσι λόγοις σῶφρον ἔπεστιν ἄνθος. εὐδαίμονες ἄρ ἦσαν οἱ ζῶντες τότε. πρὸς τάδε σ, ὦ κομψοπρεπῆ μοῦσαν ἔχων, δεῖ σε λέγειν τι καινόν, ὡς ηὐδοκίμηκεν ἁνήρ. δεινῶν δέ σοι βουλευμάτων ἔοικε δεῖν πρὸς αὐτόν, εἴπερ τὸν ἄνδρ ὑπερβαλεῖ καὶ μὴ γέλωτ ὀφλήσεις. CHORUS You, cultivating splendidly towering wisdom most renowned, how sweet a temperate \ower is set upon your words. Blessed were those who lived then. In response to these things, you who have a dainty-seeming muse, it is necessary for you to say something new, as
the man has been held in esteem. It seems that you need some clever designs against him, if you re going to outstrip the man and not become a mockery. καὶ μὴν πάλαι γω πνιγνόμην τὰ σπλάγχνα κἀπεθύμουν ἅπαντα ταῦτ ἐναντίαις γνώμαισι συνταράξαι. ἐγὼ γὰρ ἥττων μὲν λόγος δι αὐτὸ τοῦτ ἐκλήθεν ἐν τοῖσι φροντισταῖσιν, ὅτι πρώτιστος ἐπενόησα τοῖσιν νόμοις καὶ ταῖς δίκαις τἀναντί ἀντιλέξαι. καὶ τοῦτο πλεῖν ἢ μυρίων ἔστ ἄξιον στατήρων, αἱρούμενον τοὺς ἥττονας λόγους ἔπειτα νικᾶν. ΧΧΧ σκέψαι γάρ, ὦ μειράκιον, ἐν τῷ σωφρονεῖν ἅπαντα 1071 ἅνεστιν, ἡδονῶν θ ὅσων μέλλεις ἀποστερεῖσθαι παίδων, γυναικῶν, κοττάβων, ὄψων, πότων, καχασμῶν. καίτοι τί σοι ζῆν ἄξιον, τούτων ἐὰν στερηθῇς; εἶἑν. πάρειμ ἐντεῦθεν εἰς τὰς τῆς φύσεως ἀνάγκας. ἥμαρτες, ἠράσθης, ἐμοίχευσάς τι, κᾆτ ἐλήφθης. ἀπόλωλας ἀδύνατος γὰρ εἶ λέγειν. ἐμοὶ δ ὁμιλῶν χρῶ τῇ φύσει, σκίρτα, γέλα, νόμιζε μηδὲν αἰσχρόν. μοιχὸς γὰρ ἢν τύχῃς ἁλούς, τάδ ἀντερεῖς πρὸς αὐτόν, ὡς οὐδὲν ἠδίκηκας εἶτ εἰς τὸν Δί ἐπανενεγκεῖν, κἀκεῖνος ὡς ἥττων ἔρωτός ἐστι καὶ γυναικῶν καίτοι σὺ θνητὸς ὢν θεοῦ πῶς μεῖζον ἂν δύναιο; And indeed for a long time I was choked in my innards and was desiring to confound all these things with opposing thoughts. For on the one hand I was called the weaker argument on account of this, among the thinkers, that I wrst thought to speak opposing things in opposition to the laws and customs. And this is worth more than 10,000 staters, for the one who has chosen the weaker arguments then to win. XXX For look, boy, at all that there is in being self-controlled, and how many pleasures you are going to be deprived of:
youths, women, drinking games, relishes, drinks, gukaws. And yet, if you are deprived of these things, how is life worth living? So. I am arrived now at the necessities imposed on us by nature. You made a mistake, you loved, you committed some adultery, and then you were caught. You re done for: for you re powerless to make a speech. But if you hang out with me, indulge your nature, leap, laugh, think nothing shameful. For if you happen to be taken as an adulterer, you will speak the following rebuttal to him (the husband), (say) that you have done nothing wrong: so he had referred to Zeus, and Zeus is a slave to love, even of women. And how could you, being a mortal, do better than a god? τί δ ἢν ῥαφανιδωθῇ πιθόμενός σοι τέφρᾳ τε τιλθῇ; 1083 ἕξει τινὰ γνώμην λέγειν τὸ μὴ εὐρύπρωκτος εἶναι; And what if, having entrusting himself to you, he is radished and has his hair plucked out with ash? Will he have some bit of wisdom to say that he is not a gaping asshole? ἢν δ εὐρύπρωκτος ᾖ, τί πείσεται κακόν; And if he is a gaping asshole, what ill will he suker? τί μὲν οὖν ἂν ἔτι μεῖζον πάθοι τούτου ποτέ; What greater thing could one ever suker than that? τί δῆτ ἐρεῖς, ἢν τοῦτο νικηθῇς ἐμου; What will you say, then, if you are bested on this point by me?
σιγήσομαι. τί δ ἄλλο; I will be silent. What else? φέρε δή μοι φράσον, συνηγοροῦσιν ἐκ τίνων; C mon then, tell me, those who plead cases, what group do they come from? ἐξ εὐρυπρώκτων. From the gaping assholes. πείθομαι. τί δαί; τραγῳδοῦσ ἐκ τίνων; I believe so. What then? Those who write tragedies are from what group? ἐξ εὐρυπρώκτων. From the gaping assholes. εὖ λέγεις. δημηγοροῦσι δ ἐκ τίνων;
You speak well. And the public speakers are from what group? ἐξ εὐρυπρώκτων. From the gaping assholes. ἆρα δῆτ ἔγνωκας ὡς οὐδὲν λέγεις; καὶ τῶν θεατῶν ὁπότεροι πλείους σκόπει. So then have you realized that you are speaking nonsense? And look at most of the spectators: what sort are they? καὶ δὴ σκοπῶ. And indeed I am looking. τί δῆθ ὁρᾷς; So what do you see? πολὺ πλείονας, νὴ τοὺς θεοὺς, τοὺς εὐρυπρώκτους. τουτονὶ γοῦν οἶδ ἐγὼ κἀκεινονὶ καὶ τὸν κομήτην τουτονί.
By far the majority, by the gods, are gaping assholes. This one here I know and that one there and the long-haired one there. τί δῆτ ἐρεῖς; So what will you say? ἡττήμεθ. ὦ κινούμενοι, πρὸς τῶν θεῶν δέξασθέ μου θοἰμάτιον, ὡς ἐξαυτομολῶ πρὸς ὑμᾶς. I am defeated. O you debauched ones (to Strepsiades and Pheidippides) for gods sake take my cloak, so that I may desert to you (to the audience). τί δῆτα; πότερα τοῦτον ἀπάγεσθαι λαβὼν βούλει τὸν υἰόν, ἢ διδάσκω σοι λέγειν; So what then? Do you want him, having taken your son, to lead him ok, or am I to teach him to speak for you? ΣΤΡΕΨΙΑΔΗΣ δίδασκε καὶ κόλαζε καὶ μέμνησ ὅπως 1107 εὖ μοι στομώσεις αὐτόν, ἐπὶ μὲν θάτερα οἷον δικιδίοις, τὴν δ ἑτέραν αὐτοῦ γνάθον στόμωσον σἵαν εἰς τὰ μείζω πράγματα. STREPSIADES Teach and punish and think how you will give him an edge for me, on the one side
wt for little trials, and then sharpen his other jaw wt for greater matters. ἀμέλει, κομιεῖ τοῦτον σοφιστὴν δεξιόν. Never mind, you will get him back aas a dexterous sophist. ΦΕΙΔΙΠΠΙΔΗΣ ὠχρὸν μὲν οὖν οἶμαί γε καὶ κακοδαίμονα. PHEIDIPPIDES A pale and unlucky one, I think. ΧΟΡΟΣ χωρεῖτε νῦν οἶμαι δὲ σοὶ ταῦτα μεταμελήσειν. CHORUS Go now; I think that you will regret these things.